In Memoriam - Fred

–February 26th 2010

Fred—oh my Fred...Where to begin I wonder, to explain the depth of my love for this so special man...

At the very beginning I suppose—the day when he was brought to me, back in 1994—a young and fearful feral cat who assumed I would kill him by my very gaze. I, a human with no understanding in those early days of what it meant to be wild. An unlikely pair were we!

Fred was given sanctuary in our spare bedroom and, from time to time I would venture in with food, only to find a hissing, spitting fury awaiting me...Finally, one day I summoned all my courage, grabbed him by the scruff, sat him on my lap, all the while holding on tight and, much to his dismay, avoiding claws and teeth, I kissed him firmly on the forehead, at which point I gently put him on the floor at my feet and let him go. He ran under the bed immediately, hissing furiously, and I left.

This was to become our routine for the next, and many days—grab-hold-caress-kiss-release. One day however, as I gave my "big smacking" kiss on the forehead, I was astonished to feel a tiny but clear head butt back...and, in that precious moment we were both lost—forever. Fred became mine and I became his...

The years passed...and so today Fred died at aged twenty and, looking back on every single moment, my time with him was precious, so precious that I wish I could have written it all down—each and every moment.

There are some who understand my passion well—those whom he accepted into his world and upon whom he bestowed his famous head butt...His Aunties—Holly, Susanna, Fray, Darleen and Blanca and of course his Daddy, Richard.

His health?—hmm pretty good overall—he was a marmalade cat after all, and sweetness and peace was his motto, and so his health followed suit. There would be times when he would refuse to eat and then his vet, our Chris would help, and all would soon be well. We became used to this scenario...until recently, when nothing helped and his blood panel revealed nothing very different from previous scenarios—except this time, carrying a new diagnosis—a deathly infectious anemia.

February 26th 2010, I guess it was simply time to go, and time perhaps to renew old friendships—so many of our friends have departed over so many years...

Our final days and moments were so wonderful and yet not... We were alone together and happy to be so. At 3:30am today he held my hands and looked into my eyes briefly with love, before leaving.

As my heart holds you just one beat away,
I cherish all you gave me every day.
For you are mine forever love, watching me from up above,
and I believe that angels breathe and that love lives on and never leaves.
Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star.
I wish upon tonight to see you smile if only for awhile to know you're there.
A breath away's not far to where you are.
I know you're there.
A breath away's not far to where you are.

-Sheila Ganey

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